2017 was a year filled with heartbreaks, guilt, happiness and love. It took every inch of my body to pull through the obstacles that were thrown at me, and forcing myself to be a stronger person each passing day. I battled hard with my mental health for a few months after my beloved pet dog, Barley, passed away in April.
In June, I escaped to Australia to find myself again and with the hopes of returning with a clearer mind.
I stepped out of my comfort zone, took a leap of faith and believed in love once more. With that, I was able to find my soulmate. He was there whenever I had my anxiety and panic attacks, and assured me in ways I could never imagine. Having to manage Souley Green alone gave me tons of stress especially once the workload piled up. But he stayed by my side and guided me forward when I was unable to cross certain barriers. Honestly, I would not have been able to manage all this while without him.
However, I simply had too many commitments on my plate which needed my attention.
My postings were irregular and all over the place. My motivation took a plunge when the Instagram algorithm changed. I will not bore you with the details that I have already mentioned in my latest post here. I began neglecting my accounts a lot despite telling myself to get my head in the game again. Especially with Youtube, video editing took up a lot of my time which I was not able to commit to.
A part of me felt missing. I wasn't doing the things I used to love anymore - Writing, Photography and Videography. It was always work, work and work. I did not have any other channels to express myself and it became this huge block in my head. I felt emotionless, unmotivated and uninspired. I thought just by occupying the things I was passionate about could beat down this brick but it turned out otherwise.
My anxiety also soared rocket high while I watch my friends on social media posting about their achievements and goals. Many of my blogger friends managed to clinch milestones with their blog, Youtube channel and Instagram feed despite coming into the scene later than me. It destroyed my self-esteem.
Through all this, my partner helped me to see the lights on social media and I kicked the habit of scrolling through Instagram every morning. It is still a work in progress, but I'll get there.
And so I told myself, in 2018, I'm not going to let my mental health cloud my decisions and start working hard for the things I wish to achieve. As they say with 'The Law of Attraction' - What you think you become, What you feel you attract, What you imagine you create.
So here's to a better year ahead!